Are you still in love with me?

Why can't I get the benefit of the doubt to believe that maybe I'm over reacting . I feel as if I have to pave a way from your mind to your heart for your acknowledgment of my love. It’s slowing moving its way down, but there’s a road block.

Why can't you talk to me about the things you say I just can't understand? How can I understand when you NEVER open up to me anymore? You say you trust me well utilize the trust and utilize our relationship so it can grow. I want to be with you more than all the other guys I can possibly imagine myself with. Which, I won't because I ONLY imagine myself with you.
 

It's so HARD for me to not imagine the way things shouldn't be, but given by the way I’ve been feeling I do. Why I say that? Because I shouldn't be imagining or feeling that. I shouldn't be thinking about what's wrong with us. I want to think about what's good for us, help me, help us.

I've been your friend before we started dating and I'm still your friend now. Can you imagine going back to being just friends with me. It's oblivious to my sight, how I strain myself to put a little love into our relationship. I don't want to make things difficult. I just don't want you to think that things have changed because we still have that friendship, but a little bit more.
 

I know deep down you love me, but I want to know if you still are in love with me. I question myself, am I doing something wrong am I straying in the wrong direction. I've bombarded myself with these same questions. God, please help me, I beg you to guide me. Please tell me that I am here to fight, to fight for what I love to be a part of. I scare myself with possible resolutions, the maybe he doesn't want me anymore thought, the maybe he found someone else thought, the maybe he never even loved me thought. I just wish this sh*t would get the f*ck out of my head.

How can someone deal with a plethora of thoughts that they try to answer themselves? But how can you try and answer all when there should be one f*cking answer. Just one, one f*cking answer that I wish he could answer. I feel sick, I feel like I'm going insane without actually going insane, but it feels as if I'm going to get there.

“Damn, girl it's not even that serious,” there goes another thought. Really, it isn't that serious? Because from what I’ve noticed if this wasn’t bothering me daily then it wouldn’t be serious. I just care so much for someone that I can't let go. I know he doesn’t want to let me go, but I need this heavy weight of thoughts off my damn shoulder.

So what do I do, push? Maybe I should push for something even if it's just a little it's a start. There's the difference that I do acknowledge and that's to not push for something that isn't worth pushing. This one that I have is all worth it and I'm going to make something work. I have to realize that things don't always run according to my needs and my want. Surely enough I'd be damned if I realize that what I give is given to someone else who doesn't and will never appreciate what you give to them. 

So I see this as a challenge, if I make it through, it was worth the fight, and the strong feeling that I have, I hope I’m right. What would you do if deep down you felt a strong challenge, would you go for it or dismiss it? *Heart vs. Mind