The best friend who says.

I’ve always been the friend that always “say”, not because I’m opinionated, but I do give good advice. Though this may sound like it not such a good thing, I’ve found a way to give my opinion without controlling the situation. This is something that most “best friends fail to do.

You can ask any of my friends, if they ever wanted any advice from me, I always tell them what I think, and let them know that at the end of the day, its ultimately their decision and I can only support their choice whether I agree or disagree. Even if I have never been in that situation, I use examples from life experiences that my family members go through. I try my hardest not to mislead anyone.  Any advice I give is in their best interest.

So I have this one friend who was in a sticky situation, expecting a child. Now I know the life state that this person was in and it was my opinion that it wasn’t best for them to bring a child in the world if they can barely take care of themselves. Now, I am NOT pro abortion but I am pro Choice.  This person said that others they have told felt that it was selfish to have an abortion and that it would be good for them to keep the child. I told her to ask them if they would be there if she was at her lowest, would they be there to help her out.

I then told her to take a look at their financial situation, their living condition at home and really think about how selfish it would be to raise a child in a situation like that. Every day this person complains about money, food and trying to live on their own.  Those who know me know that I have about 3725709270957809850985 cousins and I can testify that babies aren’t cheap! They felt that their significant other was stable enough but wasn’t ready for a child.

Ding!  Right after that I said “look if they aren’t ready for a child now, in 9 months they would be even less ready and God knows how long it would take for them to ready, raising a child single is very hard. If you are not mentally prepared for what is about to take place then you need not to go forth”.

But all they could think about is how cute the baby would be if it was born, but then how even more broke they would be, then whose hair the baby would have and then no more trips out of town. As a close friend, I ended the conversation by telling them that it’s not about what I say, or their other friends say, its barely about what how the guy would feel, since this was the 2^nd time they were in this situation, you have to know what right for you and at the end of the day, I will support the decision you make. You will know when you are ready for a child, I told her. Then I begged them to use contraceptives, birth control mainly since they refuse to use condoms, smh.

Disclaimer: But to all those reading this, I would like to say that this  is only the view of me, the writer, this is not the view of , or an view associated with what NolabelsBklyn is about. I DO believe in Choice and I will/do not push my views on to others. In this story, whatever was done after that, was the person’s choice.

I believe in safe sex, and I encourage all to use all methods out there to avoid being in this situation. Abortion isn’t the only option 1^st option . If you can stop it before it gets to that, the better.

Thank you.

I consider.

I consider myself a good friend.

Label me your best friend and I will take on the duties I think a best friend is to carry out.

So what happens when I see your girl out with another girl?

Yes, you’re my best guy friend. I'm just hoping that I am the last to know about your girl and her friendly girl friend or shall I say girlfriend.

I'm hoping that it's alright with you if they're passionately holding hands.

I'm hoping that you allow friendly lip to lip, tongue to tongue action.

I'm hoping that it's acceptable to hear "You're the only one who has my heart."

I'm hoping that the ring you gave her is in the jewelry store because the size is wrong.

I'm hoping there's another guy name Leo besides you whose call she just neglected to answer.

I'm hoping that the years you spent together was worth it.  If so it seems like a pretty covenant relationship.

I'm just hoping that I'm not the one to tell you the truth, because she is of course my best friend too.

Live a little.

Sometimes it really hard to live in the present, and convince yourself that everything will be okay in the end. I think most people get caught up in the constant expectations they have for themselves or close loved ones that they forget how to just live for the moment, and not stress. I personally expect nothing but the best from myself, and I can admit that it is hard to accept failure when it comes. This only results in me becoming upset, and that is definitely not necessary.

My best friend knows me sometimes better than I know myself, and he never fails to give me advice when I need it. He's always telling me to chill, relax my *#% lol, and live a little. Life is too short, and if you let the little things hinder your mood you'll pay the price of being frustrated. It's not worth it!

So now I'm installing a "go with the flow" attitude, and I plan on rocking my twenties out real hard!

What is your definition of a best friend, and why?

Answer the questions below and write the reason why. (You ARE allowed to choose as many as you like, just provide your reasons for choosing the ones you chose.) Then, choose which ones best describes your best friend.

A. Someone who gets real close to you, who you begin to trust and then you find out they are messing with your boyfriend/girlfriend behind your back.

B. Someone who is trustworthy and whom you are comfortable with to discuss anything in between embarrassing moments, sex, and your deepest secrets.

C. Someone who is there to bash the decisions you make; who have never been in the same situation.

D. A Fake Bitch.

E. Someone who you are capable of falling in love with.

F. Someone who will tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear no matter how much it may hurt.

G. Someone who is a tip drill .

H. Someone who isn’t always available but will go out of their way when you are hurt or really need someone.

I. Someone you kissed before.

J. Someone who says "I hate you" and you’re able to reply "no you don’t!"

K. Someone who you know probably better than they know themselves.

L. A hoe.

M. Someone who you talk to all day and feel weird if you go without talking to for 2 hours.

N. Someone who is pretty.

O. Someone who fights for you even if you were wrong.

P. Someone who forgives you for doing something stupid to them.

Q. Someone who shakes their ass in the club on Thursday nights.

R. Someone who is always trying prove how much "better" they are then you.

S. Someone who always wants to smoke but they can’t buy weed.

T. Someone who will always catch you no matter how far you've fallen.

U. Someone you get drunk with and screw on a regular basis.

V. Someone who wears no draws.

W. Someone whose house you can walk in without them, say hi to the family and go look in the fridge.

X. Someone who wears little mismatched socks.

Y. Someone who complains to you about their flat stomachs being fat -_-.

Z. You.

Now, depending on your answer, would you listen when, “Your Best Friend Say”?

**This was made to help you re define some of your “best friend relationships”

Basic advice, hard decision.

They say best friends are forever and guys come and go, you know the saying "homies over hoes" but can we really rely on our best friends for advice to determine the everyday decisions that we make?

 Every circle has a different type of friend...

• The friend that think he/she knows it all and never had a bf/gf

• The friend that will always tells you the truth even if it hurts and have your back no matter what

• The friend that couldn't give advice if he/she life depended on it! The responses are always "oh I don't know" or " oh that's a tough one"

• The friend that’s an undercover hater. The one who doesn't want to see any one happy just because they’re not

As basic as advice maybe, we all sometimes ask for it, and for the most part really needs it but honestly, can someone who’s never been in your situation really help? Can your friend that's never even been in a relationship help you fix yours? Can your friend that's an undercover hater ever help you make a decision that helps in your happiness?

In the end, we must all live to please ourselves. We have to use our best judgment because what our best friends say may not always be the way. 

…Then again what if they are right?

“Yo, you gotta tell her son, just say it!”

Best friends tend to say a lot; sometimes they can say the right thing, the wrong thing, they’ll even tell you the truth when it’s the last thing you want to hear.  Nonetheless, they can play a huge role in your relationship, if you let them.  In this case, I should have definitely listened to them chumps (my bffs)!!

So this had to be like, sophomore year of college, I met this lovely young lady, who shall remain nameless because I’m sure she’s reading (Yo0o0pe!). Well we began talking, and I started feeling her, but since I was a stone cold sissy, I just couldn’t muster up the courage to actually say anything to her.  With me liking her, it really brought out the shyness in me, smh.  Well anyways, my best friends would always say, “Yo Matt, you gotta tell her son, just say it…” I knew they were right but I didn’t want to push the girl away.  The chance of her not feeling the same way was too frightening for me to go through with it. So I figured just being friends was the safest thing for me to do, avoiding any kind of humility, and just keep crushing on her hard (so lame lol).

Fast-forward a semester, spring break and maybe a summer. Now the girl and I are basically at the same stage, teetering between the infamous “friend zone” and a “School Daze romance.”  So after about a year and some change of knowing each other, things seemed to be at a standstill.  She eventually got back with her old boyfriend and I was left with the treacherous feeling of regret, smh, and the worst feeling ever.  She and I stayed friends, and come to find out, all the feelings I once had for her, she felt the same way about me. 

Had I listened to my friends from jump and just told her how I felt, there’s no telling how things may have played out.  I guess it was a learning experience, I just wish these experiences would come with a mulligan, gosh.